5 facts you always wanted to know about THE BASS

As some of you may know I'm a bass guitarist. Actually I'm also a flutist and guitarist and... some more... ist... But one of my favourite instruments is the bass. Double bass, bass flute, bass guitar, bass whatever. I always wanted to be a bassist in a band. In any kind of a band. But there are some interesting facts some people don't know about basses. And there are some stereotypes. So now I write some words about these beautiful instruments.

Fact No. 1:
As most of people think, the list of musicians in a band in order, from easiest to hardest is like this: bass, singer, guitar, drums, manager. Actually the manager isn't a band member, not even a musician. Although he could be a musician. But that doesn't matter, he's the manager.
But in my opinion there isn't anything like this list. There aren't easier and harder instruments. There are just... instruments. If you can play the drums, than it's easy. But if you can't play the bass, you can't play the bass.

Fact No. 2:
The bass guitar is an instrument between guitar and double bass. It's smaller and its pitch is higher, but the bass guitar was made to replace the upright.

Fact No. 3:
If there would be a big cooling down on the Earth, the bassist would live the longest. (And there will be, as I have already wrote about it...) The basses burn slowly. It has more wood in it than a guitar. Or a flute. Much more than a trombone (what a surprise). Then would be the harpist, I think. But if the harpist is a woman, and the bassist is a man, than population is saved! (We need more harpists!)

Fact No. 4:
The thickest string of the bass could pull a ship. Or two. I don't know, I haven't tried it yet. Maybe sometimes.

Fact No. 5:
If you are angry, if a guy stole your girlfriend , or a girl stole your boyfriend, or some other variations, the best way to punish the bastard is to hit him hard in the face with a bass! Never tried it. But it used to be said. Just grab the neck (of the guitar), whisk it and *BANG*. (Upright bass is better. Piano is the best.)

That's all I can think of now. Maybe you could hit him/her twice. That's optional.
And here is a video of Richard Bona, one of the best bassists on Earth. I'd like to ask him about hitting someone in the face with a bass and its side-effects. Maybe there are some.

Listen, watch, stay tuned!

Global warming or ... what the heck?

Well it'll be just a short note on some mysterious stuff I thought of.

It's OK that everybody's talking about global warming. It seems like something serious to me, to a total dummy of the topic. But even I can understand the meaning of the two words: global + warming = it's going to be sooooo hot down here.

OK, well... I don't say that these science people don't know anything about words. Because actually I think they do know some things about them... They can use some weird words. But seemingly they can't use these two. They can use micro and biology or nuclear and physics but how could they know what 'warming' means? They're inside some big universities under some fancy air-conditioners looking into some microscopes and joking about some microbes doing something with something. I couldn't even imagine a situation. (Maybe I could...)

Frank: Hey, Mike! Look at this!
Mike: What?... oooh... look at that... oooh man! That amoeba just ate that thing.
F: Yeah, I know! Cool, isn't it?
M: Yeeeeah, man!
Boss: W-what? I didn't sleep... mm... o... let's get back to work! Or something!

How did I get to this conclusion? I mean about the warming, not about the job of scientists. It's simple. They say it's 'warming'. And it's cold. OK, I see it's autumn. But we have to go globally warm now, not globally cold. Because it is. I mean, cold... in the room.

Or, the other thing I can think of is it's a global stuff, but they forgot to send some warming into Hungary. It was something like that:

Sylvia: ...Azerbaijan, South Arabia, *why aren't these names in alphabetical order?* Congo... Yeah, I think that's all.
Roger: Sylvia! I think you left out a country!
S: Which one?
R: I dunno. It's something beginning with an H.
S: There isn't any country beginning with an H... oooh, you think about... Hong Kong, right?
R: Hong Kong isn't a country!
S: How could you know that for sure? It is! I think... or so...
R: No, I think it was something... Hungry... or... maybe Thirsty...
S: You gotta be kidding me! No, let's send this list to the president of the United States.
R: Hey, no! And what will be with them? With those Hungry people? They wouldn't get their warming...
S: They'll make their own warming, now, let me work. You should rather go and check out Frank and Mike. They're watching some amoebas. Now go!

Or something like this. Or I don't know. I have no other idea. Maybe I'm right!

**** I didn't want to offend any of the scientists with this post. I just... yeah... I think it's funny! ****

Have a nice day and stay tuned! ;)